Lately I’ve been sleeping deeper, and dreaming with more intensity and vividness, I’ve been able to utilise lucid dreaming for a majority of my teenage/adult life.However, lately i have not even been intending to do so, and yet somehow my dreams increase in strength each day.

Dreams have always fascinated me, however, It’s what I’m dreaming that worries me at the moment. I’m a firm believer in noting what you dream and seeing just how that might relate to you, but the dreams I’m dreaming at the moment, leave my head in one big mess, I should not be dreaming these dreams in this manner.

Why I’m dreaming of you I have no idea.

Dreamtime

The last couple nights i have been attempting Lucid Dreaming…

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Reality

Sleep deprived and shaking, her eyes droop lower and lower, unable to hold them open as the weight becomes insurmountable… She could hear only words now, words that brought light to the dark room; any use of her senses was welcome to her. However, the voices faded, again, she was all alone.

My dreams were plagued by the images of her, lucid, clear, unable to discern between reality and my dreams, time was unclear, disjointed, scenes changing without a moments notice.

I saw her, curled up into a ball, still shaking, yet, only out of instinct. Her arms nothing but mere skin and bone, bruises and cuts which were only starting to heal over, scarring from their repeated tearing by the blunt instruments on the shelf behind her. I wanted to scream out, to help her, but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t help myself.

A younger woman entered the room, her long dark hair falling loosely around her shoulders. Her arms, also scarred similarly. Wrapped around them: chains, large ones; somehow able to lift such a weight, she carried herself confidently around the room. Her green eyes however, told a different story. Filled with grief, hardship, and fear the revealed her true emotions, the deep regret in her actions, as well as her past.

She lifted the whip from her belt slowly, using both hands to spread the whip out of its coil running her fingers across the end, its tassels knotted, caked with old blood.

Her blood,
and mine.

I saw her raise the whip, her eyes glinting in the soft sunlight filtering through the bars of the high cast windows of the bare room. As the whip cracked ripping flesh across the curved hollowed back that was lying on the floor the blood began to flow freely, the scabs which held it together no longer existent.

I winced, my own back felt sticky, a warm liquid oozing down the curve of my spine.

My blood.
Was her blood.

My water filled eyes opened, my body aching, still curled up
into myself I let out a sob as the stabbing sensation webbed across my back.

This was my reality.

-Roaring Fox

(Source: roaringfox)

Departure.

She took a long drag of a cigarette, leaning against the balcony railing, as one might do in cliché style in popular movies. The hot evening stars glimmering in her amazingly blue eyes.

Her hair floating in the air as a small breeze passed us by. Smoke trails wafting, circling into the sky above, disappearing into nothing.

I stood upwind of her as to avoid the smoke, i couldn’t stand the smell of it, and she knew it. She butted the cigarette against the railing, throwing it into the small bin behind her, smiling as it went in.

But it was a short lived, and grim smile. “You know i can’t keep doing this James, i can’t keep doing this, living this lie.”

A lie she indeed lived, a face shrouded in mystery to society, like fog against the pale white full moon on a cold autumn evening.

“I have to leave you James, i have dreams aspirations, i want to travel the world, i’m not ready for a full time boyfriend like yourself, yes, what we had it was fun, enjoyable. But not for me”.

She walked inside from the balcony, turning to the bar i had in my living room covered in photographs, shot glasses, tokens from my adventures.

She waved across the souvenirs whilst pouring a whisky for her and myself, “You’ve had what i want, i need to do this.”

Tears started filling the bottom of her eyes, this was it. The end, we had been together unofficially for four months, with no strings attached…

But the strings which weren’t meant to form, had..

They were about to be severed.

“I have to do it this way, otherwise i’m just going to hurt you, i have to go.”

Pecking me on the cheek and pulling me close, i was shocked, this was how she would leave me, i held her back, my face buried in her auburn hair, her lovely smelling hair.

And with that she walked out of my lounge door and my life forever, remaining only in my memories…

I moved to the balcony watching her leave my apartment,and so she joined the path to destiny, fate pathing the way for her, to her dreams.

-Roaring Fox

(Source: roaringfox)

Nightmare.

I wake up, sweat pouring off my head, my hands clammy, my body covered in goosebumps.

Rain pouring against the windows, belting like liquid pebbles.
A flash of lighting. A face at the window…I’m still dreaming….

Running, pathways, choices, where to go…
Trouble on every corner.

Darkness.
Panic, nerves raw, eyes moving rapidly, decisions, decisions.

Where to go, there they are, the chase. What do they want from me?
Why do they not hear my cries? My yelling, my screams?

I run, but go nowhere, i see them wherever i turn. A maze of alleyways and streets, where to go? Where to escape?

To escape from this reality?

Why won’t someone save me?

A shudder, the world shakes, flashes of bright lights, constriction, i can’t move, can’t do anything.

Blinded.

Eyes opening, being held by my girlfriend, kissing my lips gently to wake me up, oh so blissful. Soothingly says “it’s okay, i’m here” pulling me closer…

Flicking the light off, I roll over, holding her closely. She falls back to sleep.

I sigh.

Just a dream…

Whispered into my ear. We’re waiting…

Nightmare.

-Roaring Fox

Day 5 - Dreams

Hmm, are these referring to my aspiring dreams or the dreams who join me whilst sleeping?

I’m gonna go for the ones who join me.

Dear Dreams,

Hi.

I’m gonna bitch bout you for a while, cos you aint doing things the way i’d like for it to work.

Firstly, why are you so random? Would it really hurt to have some consistancy?

Secondly, why do you wake me up when its getting to something decent? And then decide to change the dream if i decide to go back to sleep.

Dont change, i wanted that dream back. Sheesh

And, why, Why oh why, if i am telling someone about such a dream do you decide would be the best time to wipe it from my memory?

Are you a cruel sadistic bitch?

Cos thats what it feels like. :P

Although,

I like the content, keep that up.

Other than that, shall see you in a few hours. :)

Dreaming

Dreaming, we all do it, i think…

Well, i do anyway, and i suppose i’m not that normal :|

For the record, the Dreaming i am referring to of course does not include nightmares.

Anyway…

Dreaming, I find is the medium to reality where our desire is found, our wants and needs are addressed.

Often, I wake up, before the dream is finished, I usually try however, to fall asleep yet again just to see how it ends. Too feel the satisfaction in having control in something within my life.

What is the significance of dreams then?

Is it to have an extent of “control” over our so called ‘uncontrollable lives’?

To a point, I believe this perspective, however, i still like to maintain the idea that i have some control over our lives. But that’s another post, due soon.

There are many different ways in which we dream, some dream in words, images, black and white, colour. As well as the things we dream about.

Apparently our dreams are a reflection upon our personality. An ambitious person is more likely to dream about their career or some work or ambition related topic.

And so forth.

Read on!

I forgot what i was going to say next….

(Note to self: next topic on writers block)

Moving on….

For you to ponder…

What dreams do you often remember the most? Re-occurring dreams or more memorable dreams often reflects a subconscious thought or desire. Many of our dreams we cannot remember 90% of them 10 minutes after them having occurred.

Food for thought…

Fuck i love that picture.. ^^ :)

-Roaring Fox