Sitting in the corner of his room, legs held up under his chin, his arms wrapped around him, anyone could mistake him for the young small child that was around several long years ago, but this child had not retained his innocence.
High off his latest hit, he is getting worse now, all alone in this big house of his. His parents unaware, a fact of his life that has never changed. He is nothing but a child at heart, yet his exterior says other wise.
Nights call for constant arguments, fights over where to go, how to live, how to be him.
The only independence here is when he is facing solitude, even that is wasted now.
All his life he has been told he doesn’t know what he is talking about. He’s too young, stupid, and not been given the experience, he should take the bull by the horns and live his life well, preparing for the future.
But he could not see it. In all his innocence, shrouded by his friends pressures Drugs become his habit, his pastime, his hobby. All he wants is to be himself, explore the world around him through differing eyes, trying to see what others want him to see.
Yet all he sees is anguish, despair, sadness, and misfortune throughout the lives of many. He wants to move away, he wants to disappear, but this binding habit holds him fast.
He won’t move far, this grasp is tight and unwilling.
He will never live to expectations, he will never escape the reality of his parents desires.
His life is wasted.
Please, Please. She whimpered softly, Looking up to me, her face hidden by the silhouette created against the harsh light behind her, revealing open wounds across her arms and legs which she slowly caressed, grimacing as she did so.
Help me out of here, i’ll be good i promise… Tears began forming at the corners of her eyes. I can stop. I can do this! Her voice now quivering in time with her lower lip.
The pale whitewashed walls reflected her cold, pale and clammy skin, dripping with perspiration…
I stood watching, tears forming in my own eyes, she didn’t recognise me, i stood unable to move. In shock.
Her eyes, wide as the moon shining through the broken window beside me, lost their focus. Where have you gone!? Come back! Looking desperately around the room, for a solution to her mystery.
Still frozen to the spot i watched her as she collapsed in a heap, worn out by her body’s great expenditure of energy. Unable to move, this wasn’t her i knew.
Sobbing, her whole chest heaving in exhaustion, sadness, and desperation. Her head snapping up, pushing herself up, stumbling closer to me,her eyes still out of focus, unable to discern reality from fiction. Her hands pulling my face closer, cold and damp with sweat, Pulling my neck closer, still unable to move away i let my body directed.
Her hot breath spreading across my neck as she whispered undiscernable mumblings.
I want to go home.
Collapsing in a heap once more as her knees gave way, slowly falling i let her drop as i move my arms away from her, loosening their support.
I couldn’t handle this, this woman with an uncontrollable drug addiction, his woman who had no control over her life, or anything for that matter.
She was no longer my wife. She was no one.