Rush
The automatic doors opened before me, introducing me to a whitewash walled building. There was nothing appealing about this place.
The woman in front of me; most likely in her late 20’s, didn’t look up from her clipboard.
The phones constantly going off, unanswered, they are oblivious to the staff who are rushed off their feet; unable to maintain anything lower than a quick jog as they move to and fro the many rooms contained within the looming building.
I walk through, my destination known, the cold air pumped through the ventilation system causing goose bumps on my arm. I pass the rooms, monitors beeping, at differing intervals, voices over intercoms spreading information throughout the building to staff.
As I pass the open doorways my peripheral vision introduces me to its inhabitant’s lives; many of them, lifeless. Some inhabitants unable to achieve the simplest of tasks yet holding on to the life they no longer own.
This place was a pet hate of mine, even the most foulest of descriptions would not fit my hatred for this place.
We come here to be born, in hope of gaining something, a push, something that could ultimately change our lives, but for the most part. It wouldn’t find us…Instead, we come to find our death, whilst losing all our dignity, what’s left.
I turn to the doorway most familiar, only to find it empty, the bed no longer made, devoid of the flowers I had placed by the window side only yesterday. Nothing but the now packed bags of my wife; she had been struggling with cancer for three months, only having been operated on two days ago in an attempt to improve her life.
A nurse passed my room, momentarily looking up and seeing my confusion.
She came in, her pace still abrupt and rushed.
“She died in her sleep last night. I’m sorry.”
She smiled weakly in an attempt to make things lighter than they were,
and then she was gone.
Just like my wife.
-Roaring Fox
(Source: roaringfox)
My Story: Blur
To Read The Previous Episode: Click Here.
To Start The Series From The Beginning: Click Here.
———
…
Realisation struck her eyes, widening immediately. As she shook Charlotte’s arm to rouse her.
Oh shit Charlie, its all bloody. Lie down, let me get a nurse!
I did feel woozy all of a sudden, and wondered for a second why i everything had turned sideways.
Who flicked off the lights?…
The next few weeks were a blur, all I remember was Mel constantly by my side, often just sitting in the couch at the foot of my bed, reading, writing or just watching me. She hardly ever moved, as far as I know, i blacked out often, sometimes more than 5 or 6 times a day, doctors and nurses coming and going, even Chris was out of the hospital before me, him and Charlotte often coming to visit me.
I wasn’t the best of company, my doctor told me I had an accelerated healing process, a genetic gift from my parents. One of which left me tired and prone to blackouts, however, the injuries i sustained were meant to have killed me, well… killed me permanently.
Three weeks had passed since the accident, all that was plaguing my mind was that out of body experience. I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone but Mel, I was afraid of what the doctors would think.
I had to be knocked out to get to my apartment, as to avoid trigger memories whilst travelling in the car. The doctor suggested I wait three weeks until I do so again.
Lying on the bed, my arms wrapped around Mel as she slept softly. Her breathing slow, unburdened, she shuffled her body closer to mine, filling up the gaps. I moved my hand to pull her hair back, rubbing it softly against her neck, watching her eyes flutter as she entered REM sleep, dreaming of the wondrous alternate reality her mind created.
I whispered something in her ear, she stirred, her eyes still closed, she moved around, reaching for my hand, clasping it she held on tight. Her fingers interlocking with mine, as she whispered.
Just fall asleep with me.
-Roaring Fox
(Source: roaringfox)
My Story: Hospital
To Read The Previous Episode: Click Here.
To Start The Series From The Beginning: Click Here.
———
…My hand falling limply down my side, tears forming around my own eyes. I feel my hand being grabbed by soft fingers, ones i recognise, Mel’s. Her mascara now smudged halfway down her face, her hair filled with glass, scraped paint, and dust from the air bag, messy. Squeezing her hand I realised something, somehow, at that very moment, looking into her eyes.
I knew it…
I don’t know what happened for a while, after that i must have blacked out. All i know is that i woke up 8 days later after an induced coma, in a shared hospital room with Chris, Charlotte and Mel sitting on the lounge chairs sleeping like; well… gracefully. I looked across to Chris, reading a book, his right leg broken, yet a glow was lingering about him.
Having a father for a doctor, and noting no pain, i got up, and took a look at the chart at the foot of my bed, deciphering the doctors and nurses scribbles i noted i had in fact two broken ribs, bruising of the lungs and head trauma which explained the induced coma for risk of swelling of the brain.
A note was scribbled at the bottom: healing process advanced, regarding hereditary factors.
I had no idea, what that meant, and chose to ignore it. Moving across to the lounge chair in which Mel was spread across at awkward angles, in a peaceful sleep. Sweeping her hair behind her, she stirred. Eyes blinking in the light refracted off the floor. She jolted back, in shock, as her eyes focused on me, and then relaxed immediately as she realised who it was. Jesus Charlie, you scared the shit out of me. Get rid of that bandage around your head, its all bloody.
Realisation struck her eyes, widening immediately. As she shook Charlotte’s arm to rouse her.
Oh shit Charlie, its all bloody. Lie down, let me get a nurse!
I did feel woozy all of a sudden, and wondered for a second why i everything had turned sideways.
Who flicked off the lights?
To read the next episode: Click Here
-Roaring Fox
(Source: roaringfox)
This hell in which we reside
I walk through the doors as they open expectantly, waiting for me enter.
Entering the whitewashed room, blinding to my eyes. I look around, ignoring the overweight woman behind the counter. Spying the floor plan behind her.
I know my direction. Her protests ignored, i walk down the hall passing people sitting, sullen, heads bowed, this is a place of sadness, death, unhappiness and bad news. All eye contact was avoided. My piercing eyes met no others.
I hated this place.
I waited by the elevator, absorbing the details around me, nurses, doctors passing without a secondary glance. I do not know how they cope, i am not sure how i shall cope.
I never wanted to hear those words spoken to me over the phone.
Those ground breaking words.
*DING*
I am brought back to the point of realisation, the point where fear struck me like an unstoppable train. “Sir, your partner is in critical condition, she’s just been hit my a truck. You may want to come in, we aren’t sure whether she’ll come through” Silence
“Sir? Sir? This may be you’re only chance.” Ironic, that my fear most likely hit me just as hard.
The elevator dings once more, bringing me up through the shock, self-pity, regret, and the horrors of the hell that i had been introduced to.
I walk slowly through the also whitewashed hall, symbolic of heaven, what a joke, this wasnt heaven, i hadnt been brought back from hell.
I was still in it.
I found her room.
No.
Time stopped. Everything around me continuing, people panicking, bringing in patients. Doctors and nurses moving briskly.
My heart cried out. Shattering into a million pieces, this wasn’t how i wanted her to go. A mass of bandages, cords, and monitors, keeping her alive. The beeping of a monitor replacing the beat of her heart.
This wasn’t her, this wasn’t how i could say goodbye, she had already left.
She had already gone.
I flicked off all switches, no consultation from doctors, i wanted it for her, i wanted it for myself. To put her at peace.
But i had to live the war, the war of sadness and despair.
I sat, tears forming, gasping for air.
I had gone too. My heart with her.
Gone forever.
-Roaring Fox
