Each drop a painful reminder of what just happened,
each sob a gasp for fresh air, trying to ensure its not a reality.
But it is.
The shaking, the goosebumps, the unable to control your thoughts;
running in an endless circle, unable to stop.
Music playing in the background, trying to convince your mind that all will be better, but it’s not.
Its a constant reminder of the hurt.
You try to control your breathing in an attempt to calm yourself,
to stop yourself.
A flash of memory is all it takes, is all it needs to start you all over again.
This is sadness, this is pain.
A knock on the door a smiling face, a close hug and you’re at it again…
Crying, sobbing, pain. Hurt.
But this is a different pain.
A thankful pain so to speak. Pain nonetheless,
but a pain of beginning to be happy, yet again.
This is friendship.
This is love.
A sunset, a deep red sunset, shining against the clouds. Filling the sky with enormous rouge. We are relaxing, quietly, enjoying the moment on a hill in short deep green grass. The smell of lawn clippings in the air with a mixture of lavender and her soft scent of her favourite perfume. I look at her, analysing every small detail, absorbing it, her little perfections, an amazing person.
She laughs, her amazing laugh, so carefree, her hair flowing in the soft breeze, her eyes lit up with joy and happiness.
This is what it is like, love. This is what is like to know she’s the one.
The sun setting quickly, the hush hush hush of the waves sliding onto the sand below us.
The things i love.
I whisper sweet nothings, she giggles uncontrollably as my lips brush against her ears.
The sun now set, darkness, except for the lighthouse, continually pointing out the light within the darkness.
I can just see the small details of her face, she huddles closer for warmth.
I smile and pull her close.
Leaning in for the point of no return.
And that is what i dreamt of last night my dear.
She laughs, you’re such a romantic.
As she pulls me close.