My Story: Blur

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Realisation struck her eyes, widening immediately. As she shook Charlotte’s arm to rouse her.

Oh shit Charlie, its all bloody. Lie down, let me get a nurse!

I did feel woozy all of a sudden, and wondered for a second why i everything had turned sideways.

Who flicked off the lights?…

The next few weeks were a blur, all I remember was Mel constantly by my side, often just sitting in the couch at the foot of my bed, reading, writing or just watching me. She hardly ever moved, as far as I know, i blacked out often, sometimes more than 5 or 6 times a day, doctors and nurses coming and going, even Chris was out of the hospital before me, him and Charlotte often coming to visit me.

I wasn’t the best of company, my doctor told me I had an accelerated healing process, a genetic gift from my parents. One of which left me tired and prone to blackouts, however, the injuries i sustained were meant to have killed me, well… killed me permanently. 

Three weeks had passed since the accident, all that was plaguing my mind was that out of body experience. I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone but Mel, I was afraid of what the doctors would think.

I had to be knocked out to get to my apartment, as to avoid trigger memories whilst travelling in the car. The doctor suggested I wait three weeks until I do so again. 

Lying on the bed, my arms wrapped around Mel as she slept softly. Her breathing slow, unburdened, she shuffled her body closer to mine, filling up the gaps. I moved my hand to pull her hair back, rubbing it softly against her neck, watching her eyes flutter as she entered REM sleep, dreaming of the wondrous alternate reality her mind created.

I whispered something in her ear, she stirred, her eyes still closed, she moved around, reaching for my hand, clasping it she held on tight. Her fingers interlocking with mine, as she whispered.

Just fall asleep with me.

-Roaring Fox

(Source: roaringfox)

Pain

Each drop a painful reminder of what just happened,
each sob a gasp for fresh air, trying to ensure its not a reality.

But it is.

It’s real.

The shaking, the goosebumps, the unable to control your thoughts;
running in an endless circle, unable to stop.

Music playing in the background, trying to convince your mind that all will be better, but it’s not.
Its a constant reminder of the hurt.

You try to control your breathing in an attempt to calm yourself,

to stop yourself.

A flash of memory is all it takes, is all it needs to start you all over again.

This is sadness, this is pain.

A knock on the door a smiling face, a close hug and you’re at it again…

Crying, sobbing, pain. Hurt.

But this is a different pain.

A thankful pain so to speak. Pain nonetheless,
but a pain of beginning to be happy, yet again.

This is friendship.

This is love.

-Roaring Fox