Now that university has come to a close, i’m going to be changing a few things around here.
There’s going to be more personal posts, snippets and reviews of my days and emotions, but they won’t be here, the less personal ones will be. My tertiary blog will cover the deeper posts. I will be writing more, I have to, all that will appear on my secondary blog.
I need to be more expressive, i need to stop with-holding things.
Things need to change.
It seems that I’m a walking contradiction, like most humans I guess. I get upset about the smallest of things, yet today, I could care less about anything and everything at all.
I saw a homeless person get hit by a car today on my lonely way home. I could have stopped it, I saw it coming.
But I didn’t care, my thoughts racing, the adrenaline coursing through my veins, only to be released through my laughter as I watched the car swerve as the drivers life flashed before eyes.
I felt better when I got home, I walked inside the door and literally stripped as I walked through, the door slamming with a trail of clothes behind me as I staggered up the stairs into the shower, the cold needle like water trying to wash away the red that had come out of nowhere; stained on my skin.
The white wash noise and splattering against my head and shoulders always puts me into a trance-like state, reliving the day’s moments.
The man was walking out in front of me, pushing his trolley filled with bottles and blankets, the screeching of tyres, my arms struggling to turn the wheel.
My eyes slowly opened to watch a man casually stroll away, his shoulders shaking, as I looked to myself, I tasted asphalt and heard the crackling of glass as I saw my front windscreen no longer attached to my car, pools of red liquid around me I traced the source back to the trolley, and the homeless man. The Fanta bottles now empty.
I sighed with relief.