I want to scream.
I want it to be known how I feel.
I want to hear the roar of a crowd, screaming in anguish, fury, feeling their anger. Knowing that these feelings are not mine alone.
I want to cry.
I want it to be seen how i feel.
I want to feel the arms of a lover, a friend, a carer wrapped around me, holding me tight.
Knowing that i am safe in their arms.
I want to be alone.
I want it to be just me in crying.
I want to be by myself, knowing that i’m independent, unreliant upon others.
Knowing that i’m fixing it myself.
I want the end.
I just wish it would stop.
I want my heart to stop pounding, my head to stop thumping, peace and silence.
Knowing that my thoughts can finally process.
I want silence.
I want you.
I feel like i am neglecting the personal side of my blog… Whilst i have not been on to allow you to see a lot of personal side of me i feel like i haven’t been offering any at all into my life. Many of you still ask me if i am a guy or a girl… (For the record I am Male).
On top of all this i think today shall be my blogging day, where i set everything up.. i hope to set up an FAQ for you guys… just to make it easier and avoid the questions that i often get asked…
So i’m going to be more personal, it will be a challenge for me, and i still will not reveal everything.. I cannot do that for fear of being found.. hurting those that whilst deserved to be hurt, it’s not my duty to do so…
With that, i am off to have a shower, to think to what restraints i should blog…
I’m in the mood to write, but with no actual ideas…
I hate this part of life, where thoughts are motionless, stagnant in a pool of water, only collecting the spawn of mosquitoes…
I hate feeling filthy..
If you have ideas, let me know.
Edit: Sorry for the fail of grammar… the lack of commas are common amongst my splurges.. i shall be more careful.. but really cannot be bothered correcting them.