sonicwhip:

sourwolve:

thank u all for suicide awareness day writing the word love on your arm has actually stopped suicide happening altogether suicide no longer exists you did it guys

(Source: littlehospital, via butterflyshell)

Thursday 15th September -R U OK? Day

Today is the day where we should all take the courage to make sure our friends and loved ones are okay. RUOK day is a day of suicide awareness and prevention, by ensuring the little problems don’t make a bigger one by asking the question “Are you okay?”.

Spread the word, be kind hearted and concerned for the ones you love, in Australia alone 65,000 people try to take their life every year, in the UK this number is 170,000.

Help stop self harm and abuse as well as the possibility of Suicide.

A conversation could change someone’s life.

All it takes is three words.

Are you okay?

Spread the word.

(Source: roaringfox)

Oh how i’ll miss you

Today could have quite easily ranked amongst the worst days in my life. I woke up to beeping across the road, as i glanced to my watch on my bedside table my frustration already rose to an unbearable level.

7:06 am it read.

This is not the way I like starting a day, I quite often need my sleep, recently i haven’t been sleeping well.

The nights have sometimes been long and restless. Thoughts of you often plaguing at my memories.

It’s been four months since your death, yet I still cry as if it were yesterday.

Hell, i’m even crying now as I write this down, tears matching words.

I feel so guilty, so emotionally unstable, i feel numb because of what happened to you, and the fact that i could have stopped it. The fact that i could have been with you on this day, holding you tight, fighting away each of our fears as the night drew upon us.

Yet you’re not, i miss the smell of your lavender perfume, the way your hair reflected light.

I miss you.

I have done nothing today but cry, because i found the note that was intended to be read four long months ago. Intending to bring me peace, and a form of content knowing that you wanted this.

Your suicide note pulled me together.

But by god i’ll miss you.

-Roaring Fox

The plea

Sitting on the leather bound couch, sniffing into a tissue, crying my soul out to the world, only to be heard by the man intent on monetary motivation.

And how does that make you feel? He asks bored, she’s just another cash source to him, she’s nothing to him, he doesn’t care.

I tell him my story and receive only blank stares, he’s not looking at me, he’s looking to the billboard behind him, the latest advert for the new range of lingerie released to the public by Victoria’s Secret.

The ring on his finger glinting in the sunlight drawn from the skylight above. He wasn’t even aware what i was saying.

I just can’t stand how people can just sit there and not listen to me, even when they pretend to…

Yes people do that, go on. He says in an automated response, his voice monotone, his scribbling making circular motions clearly outlining what he saw on the billboard behind me.

I brush my hair behind my ears, my eyes noticing the scars that lined the my wrist, they blared at me, glowing white as if a painful reminder of what was to come in my moments of solitude.

He stands up, pacing, his words drowned out by my thoughts of disgust, if he wouldn’t listen, who would.

The scars glowed hot again, my throat aching from the early morning purge. I was no one, no one. My tears running in a constant stream down my face, i couldn’t help it, i had no one, what could i possibly do.

Random sentences emerged through the psychologist’s rant. It will get to you.

… They cannot help it, they cannot help you, but i know something that can.

He got out his prescription pad, scribbling the words of a pharmaceutical drug, the name appearing all over his desk i noted as i stood up to take the prescription, letters of thanks for his avid support for their sales.

I sniffed back the rest of my soul, and heart, what was left of it. And exited alone, without the warmth of love, consideration, nor care that others would share with me.

Why wouldn’t anyone care for me, all i wanted was the love from someone.

This was nothing out of the ordinary. As i exited the lobby i sat down on the side walk without a care for anything, but my wrenched heart despite the large volumes of traffic rushing past me. I brushed my hair back in a weak attempt to calm it against the rush of wind that passed me with every vehicle, the scars there again, in front of me, a harsh reminder of reality. 

What would happen if i lent forward just that little bit, tipping me closer to the edge.

Who would care about me.

—-

This is a story dedicated to all of those who go through this, there is help out there, i’m not talking about the professional kind, there is always someone concerned for your well being, even strangers.

If you need to talk, talk, find someone.

Even me.

-Roaring Fox

I wish things were different.

Tomorrow..

Tomorrow will be the day three years prior in which i saw my best friend take their life.

This was a very traumatic point in my life, i had no idea what i myself, could do.

Her name was Rebecca, she was 15 at the time, to many she was a carefree, kind and a sweet young teen. In a sense she was, but people in their self concentrated lives were too busy to notice the other traits in which she hid, yet screamed for recognition in an attempt to save herself.

I was on school holidays at the time, when i met Bec, we met on pure chance, bumping into each other at the local park where i enjoyed reading books to get away to my imagination, a realm where i can escape the passing by of the world.

She tripped over me whilst walking across the grass, deciding to look up to the sky at that very moment not seeing my body as i joined her path.

We connected, becoming good friends, we shared secrets, i learnt about her troubles and helped her through it, she told me once; I’m not afraid of dying, its the only inevitability in our lives. I will never forget those words.
The reason she feared dying was being forgotten.

I tried my best, yet she was in a dark place, unable to reach out and grab the hand desperate to pull her out. I grabbed hold at once, enough to begin pulling her out, she got better, slowly but surely, we spent a lot of time together.

But she let go.

All i remember were her pleading eyes.

I wish things were different, it would be nice to see her smile again.

-Roaring Fox

(Source: roaringfox)

This is why.

Don Ritchie, i met him around a year ago on pure coincidence, having known of him through a friend.

For those who do not know of Don Ritchie, you may recognise him by the name: “Guardian Angel”.

Don Ritchie is a man who for over 50 years has watched over a cliff known as: “The Gap” the most notorious suicide location in Sydney, the worst in all of Australia with local residents suggesting that at least one person a week has attempted to commit suicide in that location.

However, this a majority of the time prevented by Don, and his voluntary service to watch over the lonely and desperate people who attempt to leave the world. To date Don reckons he has saved over 160 lives through personal assistance, and witnessed many more deciding better, and leaving.

Yet many do leave, however, upon meeting him i thanked him personally for being able to save my friends life. Three years ago my one of my friends attempted suicide at that very spot, whilst Don did not push into his personal life, he offered my friend to come to his house and talk things through.

Today marks the three years in which my friend attempted to end his life, thankfully he is still around today, all because of this man who asks for nothing in return, but the preservation of life and happiness.

It is Don who gave me the reason for caring so much, to understand that many need it, not necessarily anything major, but someone to talk to, someone to care.

And i do, still to this day, with everyone i meet, as many of you know.

To those who do not know me well, i always offer this, there is only one time where i am not contactable, and that is in 80 or so years when my time has come.

Until then you may ask for any assistance. Any whatsoever.

It does not bother me, no matter what you think.

I do it because i care.

There is always help.

Just ask.

-Roaring Fox